 |
| Parents, Children, Siblings, Bride's Maid, Friends, Minister, Best Man |
Friday, November 26, 2010
Name someone you'd want in your wedding ceremony who you'd hate to bring on your honeymoon.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Where were you the last time your legs fell asleep from sitting too long?
 |
| School, Living Room, Office, Place of Worship, Movie Theater, Car, Airplane |
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Name a country American kids visit in the hope of "getting lucky" when they are in college.
 |
| Mexico, France, Canada, England, Ireland, Holland, Italy |
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Name something that even a very small town usually has one of.
Hey! I've been really busy with non-internet related stuff but I'm back and here's an update. Don't forget to spread the love.
 |
| Gas Station, Post Office, Bank, Church, Grocery Store, Bar, Police Station |
Friday, October 22, 2010
What is the best way to greet your friend without speaking?
 |
| Wave, Hug, Smile, Shake Hands, Nod, Kiss, High Five |
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Hey bros, nothing FF related here but I thought I should share this with you. I've been a member of this website called Swagbucks for a couple weeks now and you get free shit really quick and I know you all love free shit. You earn points by using their search engine, completing daily offers (also free and never requires a credit card), completing surveys, shopping online, trading in old video games and cell phones, or doing the daily poll.
Searching usually nets me around 5-15 points which happens a few times every day. The trick to this is editing your bookmarks so they automatically search. Like this. Points will roll in very quickly using this method. Daily polls help a lot too as they only take a few seconds and reward you with 2 points. Every now and then I do a couple of the daily offers and earn anywhere from 2-20 points usually. I don't use the other methods since those I mentioned rack up enough points for me.
The rewards are fucking awesome. One $5 amazon.com gift card will cost 450 points, $25 is 3150, while $50 is only 5,900. They have video games including everything from the original Nintendo all the way up to current Xbox360, PS3 and Wii with everything in between including dead systems like Jaguar and Dreamcast. The games, etc. usually run from 800-1000 points which is easy. Sign up for this for real.
Searching usually nets me around 5-15 points which happens a few times every day. The trick to this is editing your bookmarks so they automatically search. Like this. Points will roll in very quickly using this method. Daily polls help a lot too as they only take a few seconds and reward you with 2 points. Every now and then I do a couple of the daily offers and earn anywhere from 2-20 points usually. I don't use the other methods since those I mentioned rack up enough points for me.
The rewards are fucking awesome. One $5 amazon.com gift card will cost 450 points, $25 is 3150, while $50 is only 5,900. They have video games including everything from the original Nintendo all the way up to current Xbox360, PS3 and Wii with everything in between including dead systems like Jaguar and Dreamcast. The games, etc. usually run from 800-1000 points which is easy. Sign up for this for real.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Name an occasion for which people might include cash in a card.
 |
| Birthday, Wedding, Graduation, Christmas |
Friday, October 15, 2010
Name something children need in order to start kindergarten.
 |
| Shots, Crayons/Pencils, Backpack, Birth Certificate, New Clothes |
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Name something you hope that you're still doing then you're 80.
FUCKING
 |
| Walking/Running, Active Love Life, Driving, Traveling |
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
We asked 100 wives: Tell me something you do to get some sleep when your husband is snoring.
 |
| Use ear plugs, Sleep in other room, Wake him up, Pillow over my head |
Monday, October 11, 2010
Other than himself, name something a man cleans before a big date (more specific than "house").
 |
| Car, Bathroom, Kitchen, Bedroom, Clothes |
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Name a breakfast food that could just as easily be a dessert.
 |
| Pancakes, Muffin, Donut, Waffles, Pop Tarts, Cinnamon Roll, French Toast |
What might be outside a house in order to keep trespassers out?
 |
| Dog, Fence, No Trespassing Sign, Gate, Alarm, Motion Lights, Camera |
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Name a US president who(m) people know a lot about.
I think this one's kinda funny..
 |
| John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, George W Bush, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, George Washington, Richard Nixon |
Friday, October 8, 2010
Name something a teenager wouldn't want their parents to take away.
 |
| Car, Phone, Computer, Allowance, TV |
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Name an activity that'd good to do in moderation, but not all the time.
 |
| Drink, Exercise, Eat, Sleep |
SLEEP?? they say?? i think not. i could sleep all day and stay happy.
Name something most Americans do while visiting Europe.
 |
| Sample The Cuisine, Take Pictures, Sightsee, Shop, Drink |
Name a type of alcohol that can quickly catch up to you.
 |
| Beer, Vodka, Wine, Whiskey, Tequila, Rum, Gin |
Name a male performer past or present known for wearing outrageous clothing.
 |
| Elton John, Liberace, Prince, Elvis, Boy George, Dennis Rodman, Michael Jackson |
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Name a daily activity that'd be hard to do if you broke your arm.
 |
| Write, Drive, Bathe, Eat, Wash Dishes, Cook, Get Dressed |
Name a place where many kids have their birthday parties.
 |
| Home, Pizza Place, Fast Food Restaurant, Park, Swimming Area, Roller Rink, Bowling Alley |
new design
i know i haven't been active lately.. i've been really busy with other things. either today or tomorrow though i'll be changing almost everything in my blog. i will be posting daily with answers to facebook's family feud game. hopefully you guys will find this useful.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
A Painted Christmas
Patrick Finn arrived home from his Christmas conquests, beating out the snowstorm by mere miles, mere minutes. He felt not only the foreboding presence of a hazardous blizzard, but also that of something else. Something darker. It felt as if it resonated not only within his soul, but also within the souls of those around hi, within the very ground itself. Patrick had never bothered to check, but he was sure that beneath the grass and soil of Winter Harbor, Maine, therein hungered a gaping mouth or a chasm yearning for the flesh of the innocent, and anchored to the physical world only by a desire to seem normal. It had not yet been appeased because the residents of Winter Harbor were all but innocent.
Patrick had moved to Winter Harbor hoping to escape the despondency and despair he had felt in his hometown, Belmont, Maine. So far these feelings had only amplified, magnified, by both the wintry death that he felt tiptoeing in the town’s midst and the lingering scent of paint that seemed to permeate every building in the city. It was as if the town was constantly being repainted in some sort of halfhearted attempt to cover something up. Still, he felt it necessary to stay, so as not to make matters worse for his wife, whom he barely saw anymore, and his son, who always seemed so distant. He and his wife were going through a rife time in their marriage and their son was feeling its effects. It was akin to what one may feel after a tumultuous earthquake. Patrick felt that he had to make it up to his son, so he went out and bought him the most expensive and extravagant thing he could his hands on this late in the shopping season, a brand new video game system. He had assured his son that, evne though he had acted out often this year, Santa would bring him something good. Throughout these charades, Patrick felt empty at the prospect of shipping for a boy that he knew nothing about, a boy whose existence was forgotten every so often.
On the Even of Christmas, Patrick arrived home before the snowstorm and quickly crept into the garage to wrap the present and place it under the tree. It was in this garage that he often felt abrupt changes, as if within its small space, it contained secrets beyond human comprehension. The musky smell of the old holiday decorations coupled with the omnipresent scent of fresh paint, varnish, and gasoline all seemed to meld into one personified force, whispering sweet nothings to Patrick as he exited his car. This caused him to shudder heavily, as if beset by a fit of delirium tremens. He shrugged off the dull headache and dry mouth before quickly and sloppily wrapping the gift. Following this, he slipped it under the tree and began to creep upstairs. He couldn’t help but grimace at the thought that he was as far from Santa as humanly possible.
As he reached the top of the landing, Patrick glanced over at the clock. It read 11:49. He stood there, as if to wait for some fleeting childhood feeling that may accompany the arrival of Christmas. It did not come, as he soon found. Nor did cheery music, nor the scent of evergreens and cookies. Just deafening silence and that damnable scent of paint. It was everywhere, he couldn’t escape it. The arrival of yet another disappointing Christmas struck Patrick like a blow to the face. He fell to his knees then subsequently onto his stomach. He couldn’t tell if he had passed out or not.
Suddenly, a loud sound in his son’s room jarred Patrick awake. He quickly got up and stumbled into the room. The popping sound he had heard made him wonder what made it, and when he finally found out, he was confused even further. A large, black humanoid, adorned with goat horns and a tongue that writhed like a snake, stood before him, clutching his son. Patrick stood dumbfounded, seemingly incapable of recognizing not only the creature, but anything else before him.
“What do you want?” Patrick asked. Innately, he knew that the creature wanted something.
The creature smiled, licking his lips.
“Thine tender fruit, not spoiled by the worms of new but by the tree that bore it… ripened not into ambrosia but a rotten, hollow core…”
Patrick stared at the creature. Sweat began to collection on his brow. He felt as if his brain itself had been lit afire. He couldn’t breathe.
“I… I can’t say I understand…” Patrick stammered out.
The creature smiled again.
“Not by love of a dying star can a a planet be adorned, but by the eruption of its most sacred peaks? I desire the treasures from which you hope to find salvation. The gift to your boy. It is a gift for me, now.”
Patrick couldn’t understand why the creature would want the game system, but he felt it necessary to give it up. He quickly bolted downstairs, grabbing the box and, clutching it tight, he sprinted back up to his son’s room. The creature, upon his arrival, thrust Patrick’s son to the floor and held out one long, beckoning hand. As Patrick handed over the present, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were Faust himself, exchanging an eternity for one single moment of gratification. The creature licked his lips once more and disappeared in the time it took Patrick to blink.
When he was sure he as alone, Patrick fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his son. He expected a “thank you,” an “I love you,” something. He heard nothing. He looked down. He found that his son was withering away, becoming the very shadows that inhabited the night around him. Patrick knew at that moment that he was entirely alone, swallowed finally by the chasm beneath his feet. He stumbled to the garage before sitting down, embracing his solitude and his communion with the musky smell of paint that seemed to beckon invitingly.
Patrick had moved to Winter Harbor hoping to escape the despondency and despair he had felt in his hometown, Belmont, Maine. So far these feelings had only amplified, magnified, by both the wintry death that he felt tiptoeing in the town’s midst and the lingering scent of paint that seemed to permeate every building in the city. It was as if the town was constantly being repainted in some sort of halfhearted attempt to cover something up. Still, he felt it necessary to stay, so as not to make matters worse for his wife, whom he barely saw anymore, and his son, who always seemed so distant. He and his wife were going through a rife time in their marriage and their son was feeling its effects. It was akin to what one may feel after a tumultuous earthquake. Patrick felt that he had to make it up to his son, so he went out and bought him the most expensive and extravagant thing he could his hands on this late in the shopping season, a brand new video game system. He had assured his son that, evne though he had acted out often this year, Santa would bring him something good. Throughout these charades, Patrick felt empty at the prospect of shipping for a boy that he knew nothing about, a boy whose existence was forgotten every so often.
On the Even of Christmas, Patrick arrived home before the snowstorm and quickly crept into the garage to wrap the present and place it under the tree. It was in this garage that he often felt abrupt changes, as if within its small space, it contained secrets beyond human comprehension. The musky smell of the old holiday decorations coupled with the omnipresent scent of fresh paint, varnish, and gasoline all seemed to meld into one personified force, whispering sweet nothings to Patrick as he exited his car. This caused him to shudder heavily, as if beset by a fit of delirium tremens. He shrugged off the dull headache and dry mouth before quickly and sloppily wrapping the gift. Following this, he slipped it under the tree and began to creep upstairs. He couldn’t help but grimace at the thought that he was as far from Santa as humanly possible.
As he reached the top of the landing, Patrick glanced over at the clock. It read 11:49. He stood there, as if to wait for some fleeting childhood feeling that may accompany the arrival of Christmas. It did not come, as he soon found. Nor did cheery music, nor the scent of evergreens and cookies. Just deafening silence and that damnable scent of paint. It was everywhere, he couldn’t escape it. The arrival of yet another disappointing Christmas struck Patrick like a blow to the face. He fell to his knees then subsequently onto his stomach. He couldn’t tell if he had passed out or not.
Suddenly, a loud sound in his son’s room jarred Patrick awake. He quickly got up and stumbled into the room. The popping sound he had heard made him wonder what made it, and when he finally found out, he was confused even further. A large, black humanoid, adorned with goat horns and a tongue that writhed like a snake, stood before him, clutching his son. Patrick stood dumbfounded, seemingly incapable of recognizing not only the creature, but anything else before him.
“What do you want?” Patrick asked. Innately, he knew that the creature wanted something.
The creature smiled, licking his lips.
“Thine tender fruit, not spoiled by the worms of new but by the tree that bore it… ripened not into ambrosia but a rotten, hollow core…”
Patrick stared at the creature. Sweat began to collection on his brow. He felt as if his brain itself had been lit afire. He couldn’t breathe.
“I… I can’t say I understand…” Patrick stammered out.
The creature smiled again.
“Not by love of a dying star can a a planet be adorned, but by the eruption of its most sacred peaks? I desire the treasures from which you hope to find salvation. The gift to your boy. It is a gift for me, now.”
Patrick couldn’t understand why the creature would want the game system, but he felt it necessary to give it up. He quickly bolted downstairs, grabbing the box and, clutching it tight, he sprinted back up to his son’s room. The creature, upon his arrival, thrust Patrick’s son to the floor and held out one long, beckoning hand. As Patrick handed over the present, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were Faust himself, exchanging an eternity for one single moment of gratification. The creature licked his lips once more and disappeared in the time it took Patrick to blink.
When he was sure he as alone, Patrick fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his son. He expected a “thank you,” an “I love you,” something. He heard nothing. He looked down. He found that his son was withering away, becoming the very shadows that inhabited the night around him. Patrick knew at that moment that he was entirely alone, swallowed finally by the chasm beneath his feet. He stumbled to the garage before sitting down, embracing his solitude and his communion with the musky smell of paint that seemed to beckon invitingly.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
small update
OK guys, just a mini-update this time. I just wanna point out a couple things. First off being the Paypal 'donate' button I added to the top of the page. This is here only in case anyone wants to help a poor white man lol. DEFINITELY not expected, but GREATLY appreciated. I think that's enough about that.
Second, I added a banner right under that for 6 LINKS. It's a great way to help promote your blog and get tons of visitors. The only catch is, you pretty much have to get people signed up under you. Just do what I did and add a banner to your blog and hope for the best.. it's pretty easy. This whole paragraph is a link for it too, in case you're either lazy, or missed it.
Third, I moved Adsense to the very bottom of my page. Why? Too many people were clicking them.. and I didn't want to get banned. This has greatly helped the problem.
Anyways, that about sums up my mini-post. I'll be making a real post later today or tonight.
FYI: the banner at the top is NOT adsense.
adsense is at the bottom of the page so it doesn't get in the way of posts, etc.
Second, I added a banner right under that for 6 LINKS. It's a great way to help promote your blog and get tons of visitors. The only catch is, you pretty much have to get people signed up under you. Just do what I did and add a banner to your blog and hope for the best.. it's pretty easy. This whole paragraph is a link for it too, in case you're either lazy, or missed it.
Third, I moved Adsense to the very bottom of my page. Why? Too many people were clicking them.. and I didn't want to get banned. This has greatly helped the problem.
Anyways, that about sums up my mini-post. I'll be making a real post later today or tonight.
FYI: the banner at the top is NOT adsense.
adsense is at the bottom of the page so it doesn't get in the way of posts, etc.
Monday, September 6, 2010
DARK SIDE OF THE RAINBOW
Some people say that if you dub Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" over "The Wizard of Oz", there are moments that seem to be in sync. It requires some imagination, but they are definitely there. Some fans have reported 100+ occurrences. I wasn't paying much attention while the video played, as I was playing a game and mainly listening to the music, but I still found a few spots that matched. So if you've ever heard this rumor but was too lazy to look up the video, here it is. Enjoy :)
Saturday, September 4, 2010
POISON THE WELL
One of my all-time favorite bands is Poison The Well. I've yet to hear one of their songs I didn't enjoy, and one of my favorites it "Zombies Are Good For Your Health". It's a fucking amazing song with an equally fucking amazing title. So without further ado, here it is.
Poison The Well - Zombies Are Good For Your Health (live)
Friday, September 3, 2010
MORE CREEPYPASTA
I Don't Sleep Anymore
Earlier this week, on Sunday night, I had a dream in which I knew I was asleep. I was standing outside of my house in torrential rain at night and thought I needed to get inside in order to wake up. I approached the front door and placed my knuckles onto the door-window ready to knock. I knew that my next action would bring me one step closer to consciousness. The moment I knocked on the door, the thudding sound of the knock was so loud, so frightening and so real that it woke me from my sleep.
BANG BANG BANG
I jumped up immediately and listened out for a further knock at the door. I was roasting hot, sweating profusely and my heart was beating so hard, I don’t think I would have been able to tell the difference between a knock at the door and my thudding heart beat. After I came to my senses and realised that the possibility of the door knocking at the exact moment of dreaming it is incredibly low, I fell back to sleep.
Monday, the very following night, I had the same dream. Right back outside the front of the house in the pouring rain again, intensely staring at the house. I slowly walked to the front door, this time it was open. I walked in and went straight into the kitchen. I opened the cutlery drawer and pulled out the largest meat knife I have. I looked into my reflection through the blade of the knife.
If you stare directly into the reflection of your eyes for long enough, eventually it will hit you that someone is looking at you. You know it’s your reflection, but for just a second, you forget and become self conscious, as if it’s somebody else behind your reflection’s eyes. It didn’t take a second of looking at my reflection through the blade to realise that somebody else was looking back. The moment I realised it was somebody else wearing my grin in the reflection, I slammed the cutlery drawer shut.
BANG
Again, I shot up out of bed. The sound of the metal clanging in the drawer as it abruptly closed was so defined and so crystal clear, it couldn’t have been a dream. Really spooked this time, I went downstairs into the kitchen. I was half asleep and had to check. I opened the cutlery drawer. I was relieved to find the knife still in the drawer. I closed it and went back to bed. It took a little longer this time, but I fell asleep.
Tuesday night, my dream started with that grin in the reflection. From the look in his eyes, I could tell that the man in the reflection knew he was looking back at someone confused and scared. I found myself looking into the reflection of the knife, already in my hand, while stood outside of my house in the rain. The front door was open again. I walked into the house, directly up the stairs and into my bedroom. I looked at the bed and saw someone sleeping in it. It was me.
I knew what I was going to do, but also knew that I couldn’t stop myself. Instead, I kept thinking over and over again “Wake up”. My emotions were both in two extremes at once. I was terrified, but at the same time I was thrilled and excited to kill. “WAKE UP!”
I shot right out of bed and stood up. I was absolutely drenched in sweat, roasting hot, but relieved to find nobody stood in front of me with a knife. It took a few seconds to realise that I was gripping something tight in my hand. I knew what it was even before I looked down at it and saw my reflection in it. It was the meat knife, and this time the reflection in it looked terrified.
I don't sleep anymore.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
are you creeped out yet?
i love shit like this.. if you guys know of any more you should link it.
ALSO HOPE YOU ENJOY VIEWING MY BLOG!!
ALSO HOPE YOU ENJOY VIEWING MY BLOG!!
CAPTCHA SUCKS
i hate captcha just as much as the next guy, but what's fun is trying to pronounce them because 99% of the time they're just some bullshit scrambled letters. what's some funny captchas you guys have seen on blogger?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
I Wish I Was Here vvvvvvvvvv
wow guys check out this nice view!
i wish i could see more views like that more often :(
how about you guys?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
FREE FOOD
hey guise, head over to http://www.kashi.com/snackdrive/sample/select and grab a free box of good shit.
i know i did
i know i did
And Now For Your Entertainment, CREEPYPASTA
THE WALL
Last year, I moved into a middle class house right around summer time. The move went smooth, and it seemed like everything was just…working. Nothing broke during the cycle, I had plenty of friends to help me out, hell I even found twenty bucks in my couch! Beer money? Hell yeah!
Anyway, back to the house. For the first day or two, I thought life couldn’t get any better; my girl was beautiful, my friends were happy, and my parents were fixing their relationship. However, I hadn’t realized - until it was too late - that I was doomed to remain in this prison, which I sit in now as I tell you this story.
The first time it happened, I was in my room. I was in the zone on my Xbox. You know what I mean, where you get 10 headshots without breaking a sweat? Yeah, that. As I was kicking fat terrorist ass I heard movement downstairs (My room was on the second floor). It sounded like someone was running around down there. Like, they were running from room to room banging on the walls, just being flat out obnoxious.
“Hey, Jeff! Get out of my house, I said three-o’clock, dumbass!”
The noise stopped.
I waited a few moments before turning back to my game, but it was too late. I was already doomed. I saw it come at me too late…A tank.
“Son of a…” I sighed.
The next few days were normal, there were no more sounds that shouldn’t be there, just the pipes, the heater, you know the sort. Yet, about 3 days later, that idiot Jeff snuck into my house and started beating up my shit.
“Alright, you aren’t getting off so easy this time!” I shouted as I charged down the stairs. As my foot hit the last step, something out of the corner of my eye moved. I looked over so fast that I got whiplash. “Oh, dammit!” I moaned. I didn’t even pay any attention to the fact that whatever was in my house - had disappeared.
After that, it got worse.
That same night, as I layed in bed, the banging started again. Not only was it worse, but it was on my floor of the house this time. I was sure I locked everything before I came up here, so here I was pissing my pants at 900 miles per hour while something destroyed my house. I actually pulled the blankets over me - hey, I was scared - as the noise approached my door. Just as I expected it to bash open my door and slaughter me, it stopped.
The next morning I grabbed my baseball bat as I got out of bed, if whatever that thing is, was still out there, it would regret it. I didn’t find anything, but my house was trashed. Almost everything was tipped over, torn, broken, missing, or worse. I just figured I had been robbed.
I called the police, they didn’t do shit. But the noises stopped for a week or so, and that made things easier. Sure I was pissed that some fuck destroyed my new place, but at least I was ok. But, of course, I know now that it wasn’t a robber, or Jeff, or the pipes in the walls…It was the thing IN the walls.
A week after the incident, it came back.
This time it was pissed. I was startled out of my slumber by the noise of a vase breaking into a thousand pieces downstairs. SMASH it went, with little pieces still breaking a few seconds after the initial smash as if to mock me.
Not long after, I began to hear more deep, guttural banging noises on the walls again. Coming from inside of them, no doubt. As I lie there in my bed, I let out the tiniest, quietest, timidest squeak by sheer mistake, and the noise stops.
Sharpest ears I’ve ever seen, those were.
After several painstakingly long moments of silence, I released the breath I was holding, thinking it was over for now. Big mistake, I realize, as the noises suddenly start to rampage up the stairs. Incredibly fast, incredibly loud, smack, crash, bang against my wooden floor.
The beast, which I could now accurately call it, broke my door open with intense force, thrusting it all the way to the opposite side of the room. Being an intelligent individual, I had already hidden under my impenetrable field of safety known as the common blanket.
The noise of this monster running through my room, it’s footsteps enough to damage my eardrums at this close, was the scariest thing I had ever experienced in my entire life.
With a sudden burst of adrenaline, I threw the blankets off in the direction of the…thing, somehow making a direct impact to its face. Whoever - or whatever - this was, was stunned. But not for long, and I knew that. I frantically moved across my room, attempting to make it out the door, downstairs, outside, where I could attract public attention.
This night, luck was not on my side. I knew this as a large hunk of my hair was grabbed from behind and pulled out with such force that pieces of skins came along with it, along with a shitload of blood. Before a scream escapes my voice box, I’m being held down by a dark, hairless beast that walks on all fours with a face I can hardly imagine again, that then smashes my head with it’s fist, sending me into a dark, welcoming sleep.
…
Someone new has moved in, but they don’t even acknowledge my existence, the jackass. I patiently watch, wait, hear, hoping that they will. But no. Not me. I’m not worth it to them.
Maybe if I bang on the walls.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
How to Argue
1. Drink Liquor.
Suppose you're at a party and some hot-shot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hot-shot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you?ll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
2. Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 below the mean gross poverty level." NOTE: Always make up exact figures. If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."
3. Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.," "e.g.," and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not." Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say: "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D." Only a fool would challenge that statement.
4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what 'parameters' means. Here's how to use your comebacks: You say "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873…" Your opponents says "Lincoln died in 1865? You say "You're begging the question."
OR
You say "Liberians, like most Asians…" Your opponent says "Liberia is in Africa." You say "You're being defensive."
5. Compare your opponent to Joseph Stalin.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Stalin up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Joseph Stalin might say." Remember that this is the alternative of last resort; it tend to close all options of retreat.
Keep these basic principles in mind, and you will find it easy (and perhaps even entertaining) to
out-argue anybody.
(and if all else fails, punch him in the face.)
Suppose you're at a party and some hot-shot intellectual is expounding on the economy of Peru, a subject you know nothing about. If you're drinking some health-fanatic drink like grapefruit juice, you'll hang back, afraid to display your ignorance, while the hot-shot enthralls your date. But if you drink several large shots of Jack Daniels, you?ll discover you have STRONG VIEWS about the Peruvian economy. You'll be a WEALTH of information. You'll argue forcefully, offering searing insights and possibly upsetting furniture. People will be impressed. Some may leave the room.
2. Make things up.
Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid. DON'T say: "I think Peruvians are underpaid." Say: "The average Peruvian's salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 below the mean gross poverty level." NOTE: Always make up exact figures. If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: "This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon's study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn't you read it?" Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say "You left your soiled underwear in my bath house."
3. Use meaningless but weightly-sounding words and phrases.
Memorize this list:
Let me put it this way
In terms of
Vis-a-vis
Per se
As it were
Qua
So to speak
You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as "Q.E.D.," "e.g.," and "i.e." These are all short for "I speak Latin, and you do not." Here's how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say: "Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don't have enough money." You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: "Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D." Only a fool would challenge that statement.
4. Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.
You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevent phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:
You're begging the question.
You're being defensive.
Don't compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?
This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what 'parameters' means. Here's how to use your comebacks: You say "As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873…" Your opponents says "Lincoln died in 1865? You say "You're begging the question."
OR
You say "Liberians, like most Asians…" Your opponent says "Liberia is in Africa." You say "You're being defensive."
5. Compare your opponent to Joseph Stalin.
This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Stalin up subtly. Say: "That sounds suspiciously like something Joseph Stalin might say." Remember that this is the alternative of last resort; it tend to close all options of retreat.
Keep these basic principles in mind, and you will find it easy (and perhaps even entertaining) to
out-argue anybody.
(and if all else fails, punch him in the face.)
King Kandy's Man Blog: Food: BBQ and its gut punching deliciousness
King Kandy's Man Blog: Food: BBQ and its gut punching deliciousness: "Okay let me say this not once but twice. BBQ has to be one of the manliest food groups on the planet ever. BBQ has to be one of the manlie..."
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Recipes for Students: The famous Ramen Omelette
Recipes for Students: The famous Ramen Omelette: "You probably heard of this before, but now i will also tell you the secrets how to make this special omelette. This is a pretty good way to..."
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SMITTY YOO: so i
m sitting heres drinkin my glass of milk
thin...: "so i m sitting heres drinkin my glass of milk thinking to myself: fuck that was a good chicken sandwich cig break"
m sitting heres drinkin my glass of milk
thin...: "so i m sitting heres drinkin my glass of milk thinking to myself: fuck that was a good chicken sandwich cig break"
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